Mere I

Internode quota from the command line in Ubuntu 9.04

2009-06-02T15:34:00.003+10:00

I have an Internode ADSL connection. I'm running Ubuntu 9.04 Server. I wanted to be able to check my internet quota from the command line. There is a perl script is provided here, but there weren't quite enough instructions there for me to make it work. I worked it out, here's how.

juliusr@Oriole:~$ wget http://zwitterion.org/software/internode-quota-check/internode-quota-check

juliusr@Oriole:~$ chmod +x internode-quota-check

juliusr@Oriole:~$ mv internode-quota-check internode-quota-check.sh

juliusr@Oriole:~$ ls -l internode-quota-check.sh

-rwxr-xr-x 1 juliusr juliusr 12481 2009-05-09 07:20 internode-quota-check.sh

juliusr@Oriole:~$ sudo apt-get install libwww-mechanize-perl

juliusr@Oriole:~$ ./internode-quota-check.sh man

you don't seem to have a ~/.fetchmailrc, so I'll prompt you.
To avoid extra dependencies, your password will be echoed.
Username: juliusroberts
Password: passwordhere
Run this command to create a ~/.fetchmailrc file:
echo '# poll mail.internode.on.net user "juliusroberts" password "passwordhere"' >> ~/.fetchmailrc
juliusroberts: -0.119 GB (-0.6%) and 0.6 days ( 2.0%) left on 20 GB, 1.5 Mb/s plan.

juliusr@Oriole:~$ echo '# poll mail.internode.on.net user "juliusroberts" password "passwordhere"' >> ~/.fetchmailrc

juliusr@Oriole:~$ ./internode-quota-check.sh

juliusroberts: -0.119 GB (-0.6%) and 0.6 days ( 2.0%) left on 20 GB, 1.5 Mb/s plan.

zfs-fuse broken after dist-upgrade to jaunty

2009-04-30T14:39:00.005+10:00

juliusr@rainforest:~$ cat /etc/issue
Ubuntu 9.04 \n \l
juliusr@rainforest:~$ dpkg -l | grep -i zfs-fuse
ii zfs-fuse 0.5.1-1ubuntu5

I have two 320gb sata disks connected to a PCI raid controller:
juliusr@rainforest:~$ lspci | grep -i sata
00:08.0 RAID bus controller: Silicon Image, Inc. SiI 3512
[SATALink/SATARaid] Serial ATA Controller (rev 01)

After a dist-upgrade to jaunty my zpool mirror zfspool got broken.

juliusr@rainforest:~$ sudo zpool status
pool: zfspool
state: UNAVAIL
status: One or more devices could not be opened. There are insufficient
replicas for the pool to continue functioning.
action: Attach the missing device and online it using 'zpool online'.
see: http://www.sun.com/msg/ZFS-8000-3C
scrub: none requested
config:

NAME STATE READ WRITE CKSUM
zfspool UNAVAIL 0 0 0 insufficient replicas
mirror UNAVAIL 0 0 0 insufficient replicas
sdb FAULTED 0 0 0 corrupted data
sdc UNAVAIL 0 0 0 cannot open

I think what has happened is that somehow the drive labels sda and sdc have been swapped around and zfs-fuse got confused. IIRC i used to boot of sda, but now it looks like i'm booting of sdc.

juliusr@rainforest:~$ sudo lshw | grep -iE '/dev/sd|size'
logical name: /dev/sdc
size: 18GiB (20GB)
logical name: /dev/sdc1
size: 17GiB
logical name: /dev/sdc2
size: 839MiB
logical name: /dev/sdc5
logical name: /dev/sda
size: 298GiB (320GB)
logical name: /dev/sdb
size: 298GiB (320GB)

This is my fstab, but i suspect the commented volume labels (#/dev/sdaX) are now wrong:

juliusr@rainforest:~$ cat /etc/fstab
# /etc/fstab: static file system information.
#
proc /proc proc defaults 0 0
# /dev/sda1
UUID=d4a5ebb6-52ec-4b6f-bc8e-5052dca81ec6 / ext3 relatime,errors=remount-ro 1

# /dev/sda5
UUID=5e55071d-0ebf-4741-ba1a-4a9d70b70c78 none swap sw 0 0
/dev/scd0 /media/cdrom0 udf,iso9660 user,noauto,exec,utf8 0 0

How do i get back to a working zpool? I asked the zfs-discuss@opensolaris.org list and I received the following reply from Fajar A. Nugraha (thanks mate!):

1) stop zfs-fuse service:
juliusr@rainforest:~$ sudo /etc/init.d/zfs-fuse stop

2)delete (or move) /etc/zfs/zpool.cache
juliusr@rainforest:~$ sudo rm /etc/zfs/zpool.cache

3) start zfs-fuse
juliusr@rainforest:~$ sudo /etc/init.d/zfs-fuse stop

4) zpool import

As it happened, i didn't even need to do the zpool import, it all came up fine:

juliusr@rainforest:~$ sudo zpool status
pool: zfspool
state: ONLINE
scrub: none requested
config:

NAME STATE READ WRITE CKSUM
zfspool ONLINE 0 0 0
mirror ONLINE 0 0 0
sda ONLINE 0 0 0
sdb ONLINE 0 0 0

How can i tell John Gay to stop chopping down more trees..

2009-02-24T12:22:00.000+11:00

(12:05:00) Hoolio: we talk in absolutes. yet when we look at ourselves, we're totally conflicted.
(12:05:45) Graeme Oxley: cognitive dissonance is a wonderful thing
(12:06:11) Graeme Oxley: and we're very good at it
(12:07:36) Hoolio: I'm kinda growing to see environmentalism as this nice engrossing sideshow to the main stage; and that is our perpetual desire to want more and more. And in that respect, i simply can't differentiate myself from.. say .. John Gay.
(12:08:10) Hoolio: how can i tell John Gay to stop chopping down more trees, when i want a new camera?
(12:08:23) Graeme Oxley: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(12:08:31) Hoolio: answer me that.

Condemned by a rational mind

2009-02-10T15:37:00.002+11:00

I haven't been meditating in quite a long time now. Usually i can handle a few months without meditating, but this time seems quite different. I find myself now feeling events weighing on me needlessly. I have, for the moment, lost my objectivity - empty mind - and i am continually feeling the consequences of an exceedingly trivial and overwhelmingly tiring subjective experience.

I found myself alone the other day, and with a little effort i found myself sitting quietly and peacefully and empty mind embraced me like a kind of belated homecoming. By saying nothing at all it said goodbye to all that. What welcome relief.

I once felt the pull of rationality as a subtle but real force intruding into an otherwise bright, crisp and clean awareness. It's presence was usually a very good sign that I was attempting to assert something where it didn't belong; to prove some "rightness", and it was duly dismissed.

If rational impulses - especially in the context of western intellectual egotism - are a dismal cycle of perception, rationalising, categorising, pontificating, arguing, posturing ad infinitum; then defence against them is a constant effort. Show me a statement that does not seek some kind of implicit approval in the larger audience, desiring in it's very communication an acknowledgement of the perception and codification of some unique esoteric insight. An ego boost. It is not without some sense of this that i consider my own motives for writing right now, but.

I am tiring of it. I wonder at the point of it. I see the collateral damage and i can't abide my involvement. I feel more condemned by a rational mind than enlightened by it. I am sure I am of sane mind (in the legal sense), but i assert that a rational mind is not necessarily a healthy mind. At very least rationality is simply a tool which is best kept honed very sharp and generally left well alone.

The ever-present relief of an objective emptiness smiles warmly by not smiling at all.

Dealing with our own suffering

2008-07-10T16:51:00.005+10:00

When dealing with our own pain and suffering, by being compassionate to yourself and others we can understand that managing pain and suffering in a positive way means that others don't need to suffer it too. This compassion for others is an important positive energy which should be the focus of our attention. I am suffering this (myself) so that other people don't need to.

Hurting others by exposing them to our own pain and suffering may provide some fleeting sense of relief, but the effects are short lived and do not treat the root cause of your suffering. Moreover, the nett effect of your effort is not the resolution of your pain, but the multiplication of it onto someone else. Non-violence extends to not burdening others with our own pain and suffering.

The more we can focus on compassion, the less we care about our problems, and the more we care about other people. All of which is fantastic medicine :)

Tethered to a stake in the sky

2007-07-20T11:35:00.000+10:00

OK, as far as I can see it, the fundamental premise of Buddhism is that all is suffering. This conclusion is arrived at as follows: Our deluded thinking (of busy mind) creates conceptions of some kind of lasting a permanent reality in the objects of our desire, and that their possession will satiate our wanting. Often these desires aren't for simple material objects, but are for love, a sense of belonging, a lasting relationship, respect, a secure future. These are perhaps primeval drivers of human longing, and as such are perfectly 'natural' and 'normal'.

Perhaps this might happen at work when we are looking for that 'perfect job', or at home for 'getting the mediaPC working properly', at play for some sense of 'slow but steady improvment at playing chess'. If we look closley at what motivates us, or what frustrates us, we may well see this kind of wanting. This is very common behaviour for busy mind.

Sooner or later it becomes apparent that the entity which is the focus of our desire isn't that which what we had thought it was (what a long sentence! :)). After being with this thing for awhile, and learning how it really is, it becomes apparent that it does not give us all that we had we had hoped for. We become frustrated and dissatisfied. Busy mind does not question itself, but goes on looking for something else to quench the longing: so goes the cyclical pattern of existence called samsara, where 'all is suffering'.

For example, lets say we buy a new car. it's all most shiny and lovely and smells like a new car, goes like a new car, and salesman is very good at his job, and makes us believe that this new car is all that we think it is (and more maybe!). We drive it for awhile, maybe a short time, mabye a long time, and then the new car isn't so new anymore, and the engine breaks! We are angry that our new car should break. perhaps it is fixed under warranty and we are happy again. Our idea of new car is not irretrevably lost. But then it breaks again, we are more angry. Maybe we think this new car isn't so new after all. Maybe we begin to think this is not a new car, maybe we begin to think we have been dudded! We may do many things to make the car better. All the time we compare our car with this idea of new car. Sooner or later the car comes up lacking. The car is just a car. Really it has changed only a very little but, but our thinking has changed! Suddenly our new car has changed in our minds to shoddy old car. Maybe we also have bad thoughts about the salesman!! So in the end we go get another car, and the whole process begins again.

This cycle of wanting, longing, reaching, achieving, dissastisfaction, frustration.. goes on and on in so many aspects of our lives. Busy mind is too busy to understand that it is busy mind itself which has created these objects of desire. It has created something from nothing and tied itself to it. It has tethered itself to a stake in the sky.

Very busy wanting mind makes all this happen, very busy mind makes this all very important. Very busy mind is often so busy with all this business that it doesn't see what it is doing. (psssst very busy mind has a very big secret. Very big mind is so busy finding happiness, it is not sure what it is finding it for.)

Very simple mind knows just enough to know that none of this is very important. Very simple mind know just enough to know that it does not need a nice car, a nice house, a nice wife to be happy. Very simple mind knows just enough to know that it's own longing is the cause of its suffering. Very simple mind knows just enough to know that the best thing it can do is to put selfish desire aside and to help others. With upmost respect, helping others to understand the cause of their suffering is perhaps the most wonderful thing it can possibly do.

The hermit monk living in the mountains. While he's out gathering wood and roots a robber comes and strips his cabin, everything is gone. As night deepens he sits at the window and looks out at the evening moon, thinking to himself, "If only I could have given the robber this perfect, white moon." He's still wealthy. And he's asking a good question: What can I give now?

Buddhism can prepare us for the inevitable pain and suffering which we unwittingly make in our daily lives and can give us the mental fortitude to see through our desires to make decisions which can reduce our suffering; not increase it. Happiness however is just a byproduct of simple mind, certainly not an objective.

2007-02-07T11:28:00.000+11:00

I thought this was interesting. it's "the" ahem:

11 Most Important Philosophical Quotations.

so, knock yourself out :)

Something i thought was cool

2007-01-12T14:45:00.000+11:00

http://interact10ways.com/usa/information_interactive.htm

a period of consequences

2006-11-23T10:20:00.000+11:00

"The era of procrastination, of half measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to a close. In its place, we are entering a period of consequences." - Winston Churchill

So; what are you doing to save the planet?

Our lovely broad bean, Reuben

2006-10-30T10:31:00.000+11:00

On Friday the 13th of OShell and i had our first baby, our lovely broad bean, Reuben.

So far it's been a wonderful experience and i can wholeheartedly reccomend it to anyone who feels even the slightest bit interested in having children. Once I layed eyes on that little face, most eveything else seemed strangely unimportant.

Just to be part of something that is really so much bigger than ourselves, helps me to realise that while we're all busily going on with whatever it is we're doing; beneath it all, this precious life just goes on and on, just like it always has.

Reuben has reminded me of my own mortality and that of all of us.

Have a cup of tea!

2006-10-06T09:34:00.000+11:00

No asking and answering before drinking tea.
No thinking and reasoning during drinking tea.
No arguing and quarelling after drinking tea.
This is the cup of tea, friends, enjoy it!

Where are your Buddah-dharmas?

2006-10-02T11:57:00.000+11:00

There are some stones, trees, flowers, brooks, animals in the mountain where the deluded old man lives.

One day there was a visitor who came and asked him:
-It seems there are many things around here, but where are your Buddha-dharmas, Sir?
The d.o.m said:
-You see the big stones are big; the small stones are small. The tall trees are tall; the short trees are short. The white flowers are white and the red flowers are red. What Buddha-dharmas are you talking about?

The visitor asked for a cup of tea, then left after that.

ChonTri

A new comer

2006-09-08T11:08:00.000+10:00

One day, a newcomer got a chance and met a Zen teacher in front yard of his rural monastery - properly, a hut. He asked him:
-Master, I am a newcomer and I would like to learn something. Please teach me.
-There is nothing in here to teach or to learn.
He looked at the newcomer for little moment then walked away.

ChonTri 11/06/03

On interactions

2006-09-04T16:22:00.000+10:00

it doesn't really matter what you think or say or do;
if they don't feel that you're being compassionate then you've missed the boat.

forget philosophy. existance. truth. all we have is now.

(Remember Michael the homeless man and Jes the American)

A cup of green tea

2006-08-28T11:31:00.000+10:00

This morning fresh green tea is made,
The fragrance is up to nose,
And the taste dips through tongue-tip.
Everything in the world wakes up from the sleep.

ChonTri

'Why?'

2006-08-16T11:00:00.000+10:00

I don't really want to commit too much to words here, lest i loose the intent of how this fractal animation appeals to me. Suffice to say; i ask is it ever really possible to completley answer the question 'why'?

2006-08-14T11:57:00.000+10:00

His hair has faded and is now sprinkled with flecks of gray...

Gyuto monks in hobart

2006-07-31T13:38:00.000+10:00

Recently i had the fortunate opportunity to spend some time listening to buddhist teachings presented by the Gyuto monks during their ten day visit to Hobart. Gempende(sp?) (their head monk) spoke on many topics, some of which struck a chord with me whilst others didn't.

..one thing he mentioned was consistent with my personal experience (and so must contain some degree of 'truth' (real or percieved), and that is this:

'Buddhism' isn't about adding layers of mystique to your identity, but removing them one by one, right back to the core. Who are 'you'? Does this identity actually exist or is it a fabrication? if it doesn't exist, why suffer in order to perpetuate it?

..So next time you're feeling mental suffering, look very, very, very closley, concentrate on it with all your being, don't let your meandering thoughts interfere (..that meddling ego..) and ask: what perception has created this 'situation'?

..meanwhile the clouds continue to float benignly overhead, the grasses blow in the breeze, the pinecone falls from the tree, the stream trickles over the rocks..

..ask yourself, what is real? and what is made up?

Dear Mr Howard and Mr Downer,

2006-07-04T10:20:00.000+10:00

This war was never right or justifiable. Every action in it's continuance is a mistake. Simply stop. Stop allowing a system you've helped create be your excuse for not being able to act. Words mean nothing. Do the right thing and champion goodness! We all want the same thing; safety and love for our friends and families. What right do you have to take this from anyone? Before speaking oodles of verbage remember that words mean nothing. Answer in action.

(http://www.getup.org.au/index.asp)

2006-06-15T15:04:00.000+10:00

"Nirvana is the utter extinction of all that is base in us, all that is vicious in us. Nirvana is not like the black, dead peace of the grave, but the living peace, the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal," Gandhi said.

2006-06-14T15:46:00.000+10:00

"...People often believe that happiness is a matter of circumstance, that if something good happens, they will experience long-lasting happiness, or if something bad happens, they will experience long-term misery," (says co-author Peter Ubel). "But instead, people's happiness results more from their underlying emotional resources -- resources that appear to grow with age. People get better at managing life's ups and downs, and the result is that as they age, they become happier -- even though their objective circumstances, such as their health, decline..." (http://www.boingboing.net/..)

Actually.. i agree with that. The older i get the less i care about the things which used to trouble me. And for me, that "underlying emotional resource" is certainly a product of age, and as i've grown i've felt a certain "maturity" develop. i'm sure that given enough time i'd be a wise old man ;)

..but when i started studying buddhism, i felt this pool of resources begin to deepen and broaden much faster than before. i felt vast wisdom developing inside me; feeding on life experience and then it all compounding on itself over and over and over again. stopping in the street, jaw dropping life changing moments of realisation have become less and less uncommon. and the amazing thing is, how simple it all is.

The elephant and the five blind men..

2006-06-07T11:50:00.000+10:00

Once upon a time in a very nice city of ancient India, there were five blind young men were living together and getting along very well. They could share together many things they acquired materially and mentally. They could shared each other what they had learned, known or experienced. For example, they had learned and known how a hose, a broom, a post, a drum, a belly...looks like by listening to the descripton of someone who got good eyes and words, by using their hands touching it, or their noses smelling it, or their tongues tasting it...

One day it was very nice out, all the five of them were together taking a walk to the beautiful park at the center of the city. When they were in the park, it happened to be there an elephant with the hamout. After talking to each other, they agreed to come and ask the hamout allow them to take a "look" and "see" what the elephant really looks like. When heard the request, the hamout was very surprised but also interested in seeing how could they take a look and see the elephant. He agreed.

The hamout told the first blind man come close to the elephant's trunk and "see" it.
After used his both hands touching over the trunk of the elephant, he felt it, thought of it and finally said:
-The elephant looks exactly like a big hose, brothers!

-No! The elephant looks exactly like two big posts standing side-by-side!
The second one protested the first one because he was touching over the two fore-legs of the elephant.

-No! You both are wrong! The elephant looks exactly like a huge drum!
The third one negated the others because he was touching over the big belly of the elephant.

-Not like that at all! Three of you are wrong! The elephant looks exactly like a big broom!
The fouth one asserted, after touching the tail of the elephant for a while.

-None of you is correct! The elephant looks exactly like two fans.
The fifth declared after touching over two ears of the elephant.

The argument, at first, was going fine. Then it became a big quarrel, and afterall, a big fight.

The hamout witnessed all of what was going on, he was moved and felt pity for the five blind young men, and told them:
-Please stop fighting! None of you were correct and none of you are really wrong. Why? Because each of you only touched and knew some part of the elephant and not the whole elephant, therefore, what you touched and "saw" is separate and incomplete.

When heard these words of the hamout, the five blind young men understood. They stopped fighting, quarelling, arguing, and palm-to-palm said to the hamout, "Thank you very much! We really appreciate this."

just so we're clear..

2006-06-06T16:11:00.000+10:00

I hereby refute all statements which I have ever made

The sun and the lake

2006-06-04T15:18:00.000+10:00

The sun does not intend to cast its beams on the lake;
The lake does not intend to reflect the sun's beams, either.
When the sun is gone,
no trace of the beams left in the body of water,
nor any moisture carried on the beams of the sun.

Dregnaughts

2006-05-22T12:52:00.000+10:00

Dregnaught
\Dre*gnor*gt\, n. An popular Vignette** encapsulating key element(s) of a larger piece of contemporary media, where propagated exclusively via computer and networks (see Internet). Often showing cruel and unusual pain and feats of cunning trickery in cars, and both.
**(Vignette: (n.) A short scene or incident, as from a movie.)

Where do words come from?

2006-05-22T11:54:00.000+10:00

I assert that a word is the formalisation of a concept; a handle on a mental construct, propogated by common use, then perhaps formal acceptance into language. A perception of reality based language and layers of conceptual understanding is wholly limited by these concepts. That they should form the foundation for what seems to be a popular perception of reality seems to me to be wholly lacking.

Consider a bookshop with ten thousand titles from gardening to philosophy through car mechanics and ancient translations.. then perhaps consider all the books in all the world which have ever been, maybe billions of tomes stacked so high as to block out the sun.. consider every single attemt to ever encapsulate even the most minute fragment of the most subjective element of our reality in words and ask; has that task actually ever been achieved?

..then consider what it is to be "knowledgable". Perhaps it is simply the biggest, most ego-centric, self-rightious myth ever known..

"..Savor the warmth and joy..

2006-05-22T08:39:00.000+10:00

..that result from a calmer mind. After a while your thoughts will become like a peaceful river. If you practice regularly, eventually your mind will easily become serene, like a calm ocean. Whenever new thoughts arise, like waves raised by the winds, do not be bothered by them. They will soon dissolve back into the ocean.." - Matthieu Ricard

2006-05-08T11:35:00.000+10:00

"...It was of fundamental importance for Gotama the Buddha to show that He was only a guide who could lead His followers to the Goal. He had to struggle to liberate people from their ideological bonds and slaveries. In the well known Kilima Sutta (of the Anguttara-nikaya of the basket of Discourses) Lord Buddha, addressing a group called Kalamas said that they should not accept assertions made by any one for any one of the following ten reasons: one must not accept any statement for it is presented as the revealed truth, for it is the traditional belief, for it is hearsay, for it is the scripture; for it is logical, for it is methodical, by reflecting on its structure, for it agrees with one’s view, for it seems agreeable or for that the speaker is one’s teacher.

Having given this advice He further said, to reject any assertion on good and bad and what is desirable and what is not desirable only when they see for themselves that a particular assertion leads to what is not skilful-akusala, namely, craving, hatred and delusion; and accept only if it leads to the absence of those three roots of un-skillfulness.

In this statement, Lord Buddha allows freedom for knowledgeable human beings to make their own decisions on sound grounds. We must remember that the Buddha rejected all what He referred to above. What He said is that they could be either true or false. Since they are not guaranteed for what is morally right always, the Lord Buddha said that one must know t for oneself in order to decide one way or another..."

http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=6,2649,0,0,1,0

Peace in the Peace Movement

2006-05-08T11:06:00.000+10:00

"...Contributions to peace are built upon innate goodness. Deep inside we must recognize that while we are different from those who go to and support war, different from those who let HIV/AIDS and hunger continue unchecked and who commit the genocide of African and other peoples of color, we are complicit in that arrogance by couching our expressions of protest in a language of fear and hatred, a language that lets our opposition point to our hypocrisy and makes some people of peace feel unable to participate in a movement that cultivates as much aggression as the events and policies we are striving to oppose..." - boona cheema

We Have Been Living In...

2006-05-05T10:23:00.000+10:00

..so many problems: individual problems, psychological problems, mental problems, physical problems; family problems, marriage problems, husband and wife problems, father and chidren problems, mother and children problems, brother and sister problems, relative problems, parents and parents-in-law problems; social problems, friend problems, classmate problems, co-worker problems, colleague problems,nation problems, patriot problems, political problems, economy problems; culture problems, religion problems, faith problems, belief problems, philosophy problems, science problems, poverty problems, wealth problems; sex problems, virus-transmitted problems, drinking problems, food problems, money problems, love problems, no-love problems, violence problems, non-violence problems, compassion problems, no-compassion problems...etc ..and etc...problems...

Why do we have so many problems like that? Where did they come from and keep coming more and more everyday? Who has created them? How could we live sanely in a society with so many problems like that? Can we put an end to those kinds of problems? Where do we start and when?

(Zenguide.com)

What for is a koan, sir?

2006-05-01T16:22:00.000+10:00

Yesterday afternoon, a gentleman paid a visit to the deluded old man. After saluting to each other and just before sipping the first cup of green tea, the gentleman asked a question like this:
- What is a koan** and what for is it, sir?
- It is like a candy handed out to make a baby who is crying to stop it.
- Then what for is it after the baby aready stops crying?
- Just put it aside.
- And what would you tell the baby when he is no longer crying?
- Just tell him do not get hurt and cry again.
- That's wonderful, sir!
- You are a crying baby, aren't you?

(** koan - A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.)

Hakuin and the Samurai

2006-05-01T15:24:00.000+10:00

A soldier came to Hakuin and asked "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"
"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.
"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.
"You, a samurai!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar!"
The soldier became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued. "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably as dull as your head!"
As the soldier drew his sword Hakuin remarked "Here open the gates of hell!"
At these words, the samurai, perceiving the discipline of the master, sheathed his sword and bowed.
"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.

Those gory "anti-war" movies

2006-05-01T12:48:00.000+10:00

I have just seen some short anti-war movies on the internet. I'd post the link, but i see no point; They are dreadful, graphic movies. You can imagine their content. They make me feel horrible inside, repulsed, disgusted, angry and bewildered. I don't see much point in making people feel like this. To me, it's not constructive.

To me, what is constructive is trying to understand what creates the divisions which cause conflict in the first place; the mind. If you can do this, and then start to realize this in your own experience, then you can try to help other people too. I believe that this is constructive, and in this way we can end the suffering we are all already so very familar with.

"Good" and "Bad"

2006-05-01T08:46:00.000+10:00

> -----Original Message-----
> From: mymum@netspace.net.au
> [mailto:sueandwarren@netspace.net.au]
> Sent: Saturday, 29 April 2006 12:48 PM
> To: Julius Roberts
> Subject: Re: FW: My new blog :)
>
> thanks darling for your view on what we discussed on Friday,
> just 4 the record I agree with aalot of what u were saying ,
> the thing I have trouble with is your concept that there is
> no wron gg or right , I know u will say these things are just
> a construct which they are , but they ar e set up to give
> our society guide lines to function with, with out which we
> would decend into anarchy because most of our society do not
> think like u @ I, of course our laws have faults because all
> human thoughts are floored, remember that the books u are
> reading on buddism are written by authors that have their own
> schemas as well.
> Remember that I love u and all discussion between us from my
> point of view is driven only by love domestic manager your
> loving mother , [mum]

Hi Mum, if I may explain a little further; I guess you know that the typical buddhist "goal" is to attain enlightenment, that is to be free of all the "mental baggage" which cause suffering to all things. This is the point of buddhism. It's not just about finding a state of bliss as is often portrayed by the western idea of nirvana. How this happens isn't relevant here, just that this is the goal; to end all suffering. I already explained that I try not to consider any difference between any two things, which means there is no difference between myself and yourself or the granny needing help to cross the road, or a criminal having commited a crime, or a carrot in my garden or whatever. I am all these things, then as I love myself, and you, and shell, and mt wellington, and somebody I've never met living in a country I've never been to, and an apple hanging on a tree; I just feel love. So of course I try to avoid thought and action which lead to suffering, but not only in regard to myself, but to all things. So, just as I help myself, I help everyone and everything else in the same way. This is my understanding of the "boddisatva ideal"; I'm sure you can find that on the internet or something.

So in terms of "good" and "bad", they are like any other concept, completley subjective and can't ultimatley contain any true meaning. It's not enough to consider anything in terms of good or bad. Perhaps, consider it's "goodness" and "badness", but don't ever dare think that these considerations actually mean anything, or somehow encapsulate the totality of a situation; your evaluation in terms of these concepts are transient ideas like anything else.

I hope that makes it a bit clearer.. :) Love Jules

PS: These very words right here themselves contain no meaning; the idea here is to relieve yourself of "knowledge" which blinds you with preconception, such that you can again percieve things as they really are. This is our "Buddah nature".

PPS: I am a special individual. Just as special as everything else, and just as individual as a drop of water somewhere in the ocean, or a grain of sand on an endless beach.

2006-04-29T08:31:00.000+10:00

"..you must be a light unto yourself. not the light of some professor, or an anylist, or a psychologist, or the light of jesus christ, or of buddah. you must be a light unto yourself, in a world that is utterly becoming dark..." -jiddu krishnamurti

For me, Buddah has some useful things to say, so did JC, so does my mum, and so does the body of experience we have inherited from all forms of endevour, including that of life itself. I can't say that any of them are ultimatley correct, or incorrect; I won't put one before the other, or me before another. In fact i can't say anything about them at all really. They only exist in my mind, and only then when i think about it.

RSS Feed

2006-04-28T15:52:00.000+10:00

If you're keen, this site has an RSS feed, http://merei.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Crackpots

2006-04-28T14:47:00.000+10:00

I had lunch with my mum today, shes quite concerned about this buddhism thing, stating doesn't want me to turn into a crackpot. I consoled her by saying that in my perception a crackpot is a mental construct, an idea. In my perception a "crackpot" is simply a concept which exists inside her head, not outside of it. She can choose to percieve someone as a crackpot, and she can also choose not to. I said, in my perception, exactly what defines a crackpot as existing or not existing is completley subjective. Likewise we can choose to perceive or not percieve anything in any way and call or not call it whatever we like. By doing so we create a world which is uniquely our own. I said, these perceptions, colour our experience and make us behave in certain ways, thus feeding experience which feeds perception and so on and on. Mum called this our "schema". If this causes harm or suffering to ourselves or others then we are in strife!

I explained that I attempt to create no distinctions, try not to be governed by definitions, try not to label or conceptualise; not to think, such that i can attempt to be present in any situation and see it for what it really is, and act to not cause suffering or harm to anyone or anything.

..but I think i lost her about half way through.. ;)

mu

2006-04-28T10:14:00.000+10:00

The moment we stop looking for answers, all is revealed.

In Defense of Suburban Permaculture: A Call for Support

2006-04-28T10:01:00.000+10:00

"..Guys, what a wonderful thing you have created at thomas st! I admire your spirit and your drive. I know my own version of peace and calm and healthy living such as that you've cultivated and i can understand you don't want to loose it, i don't! But change is inevitable, there's not alot of point fighting it, we need to be pragmatic about these things. For what it's worth, i think that escrow suggestion has some merit. Regardless, I sincerley hope that the present situation, whatever its outcome, won't discourage you from working towards a greener self-sustaining lifesyle; ..wherever you may be. Kind regards, Jules.."

Mere I

2006-04-28T09:45:00.000+10:00

"I" am a creation of my own self awareness. I exist as all things exist, but my ego tells me that i exist independent of all other things. This conception of indipendent identity is an illusion. I attempt not to think and/or act to preserve any conception of my identity, especially when such action could cause harm or suffering to other beings. For example the conception, "people need meat, therefore I must eat meat" doesn't gel with me. I try not to express personal opinions because to do so is at the expense of all other perspectives, including no-perspective; thus i can't categorically state that any opinion is universally correct. So I prefer to just say nothing.

I live such as billions have done before me, I will give rise to life like they did, and will die in some manner or another, just like them. Meanwhile I will witness many things, think many things, realize many things, stake many claims, feel all manner of bodily sensations, hurt and kill in the name of something or another; all these and more will be my contribution to life, and then I too will die. This is not a position of futility, it's just that all things come and go.

A new blog

2006-04-28T08:40:00.000+10:00

Hi! i've decided to move my blog from a self managed one, to this blogger.com one. several reasons really; it formats photos for me so i don't need to manage them myself, it allows comments so i can talk to people, and it's on the internet so i can post from whereever. Any comments before this one have actually been posted in retrospect. I'm not going to migrate any content from there because well.. i can't be bothered. it's still there if you want to see it :)

i'm not really sure how it will go, but i do have alot of things to say sometimes, and in a weird kinda way, a blog helps to mark the passage of time like nothing else i know of can.

On words

2006-04-12T10:55:00.000+10:00

A thought is a formless, boundless, etherial creation which has no enduring identity from one moment to the next, it does not exist. Constantly we put handles on these thoughts in the form of words. In so doing, we make thoughts exist. In so doing, we divide the universe into opposites and make our own version of reality from emptiness.

(Posted at E-sangha, Zen Buddhism Forum)

2006-04-11T09:59:00.000+10:00

If the wind blows a tree over and the tree lands on an ant, the ant will die. This is not right or wrong. This is of no-thing. And so if you cause the tree to fall, not concieving either yourself, the tree, or the ant, life or death, you are like the wind. This is not right or wrong. This is of no-thing.

But if you push the tree over, concieving of yourself first and knowing that ant will die, you have murdered the ant. If you know you are causing suffering, then don't. It's very simple.

I seek wisdom to remember how to be a plant.

2006-04-06T09:58:00.000+10:00

I seek wisdom to remember how to be a plant.

I don't for a moment assume you understand, do not understand, or have or have not considered these things before. Please allow me to explain myself.

We humans are endowed with a large brain. It gives us the capacity to realise untold happiness and cause endless misery. To which end we serve is our own choice in each moment. We believe in some thing existing, and then we believe in the existance of it's opposite also. Good. Bad. True. Untrue. Up. Down. Fast. Slow. We define these things quite clearly and these conceptions create our individual versions of reality. When my version is different from someone elses, there is conflict. This much is easy.

Rational thinking is a tool just like anything else, and it serves a purpose. It has created the wheel and space ships and icy poles. Many people believe science and emprical thought can bring us salvation through the understanding of our environment and that doing so gives us "progress". It certainly gives the illusion of some advancement, but I'm not sure to what end. I assert that it's dangerous to assume that rational thinking can serve all purposes, and that it's dangerous to assume that all things are systematically created such that systematic dissection by logic will distill some "truth".

To consider something, also consider that it equally isn't. A leaf is only a leaf for those precious moments in which its form is that which we commonly refer to as a "leaf". The soil which produced the leaf is no more or less leaf than the leaf itself, indeed the soil IS leaves, just as the leaves ARE soil. This at least can be scientifically prooven. So it is a leaf as it is also not a leaf. Then consider that it's both these distinctions at the same time. Do it now. Ok? Now consider that that there is no difference between these two distinctions. Wow. If you can do this, you can attain the true nature of the leaf. If you can attain the true nature of the leaf, you can attain true nature of all things. That is, that there can be no distinctions.

This world only exists because of our conception. Ultimate truth is emptiness, and it has no opposite. It cannot be attained using a rational mode of thinking. To assume that our vague approximations of scientific truth somehow allude to ultimate truth is a fallacy we inherit from society at large. I like many before me refute this inheritance.

I speak to you rationally because we understand rational thinking. But I assert we don't need rational thinking in order to understand. So use it wiseley.

I am my vegetable patch. I simply seek wisdom to remember this.